BRAND SPANKING NEW

This story is  based on the second-season episode entitled "The Colonists."

            After the family returned to the Jupiter II, following their escape from the colonists of Noble Niolani and her female warriors, and had some time to finally sit down and relax, they needed to unwind. Humor was their method of choice.

            West started it. "Well, Will, you saved the day by sneaking off to get the plastic explosive that freed us. But you should have heard what John said to me about your having done so. He said, 'I don't know whether to pat Will on the back or take him over my knee for taking a chance like that.' So, look out, Will." West grinned. So did Robinson.

            Will looked uneasy. "I know which I'd prefer.... Do I get a vote?"

            The two men laughed heartily.

            Will went on, "Anyway, Penny's the one who ought to get turned over your knee; she really did say, 'The male is nothing, and the female is everything.' She said it right in front of me!"

            Penny fussed, "Will!" and eyed Robinson uncertainly.

            West made it worse. "Yeah, and Penny fussed at Judy for visiting with me."

            "Don!" Penny complained.

            West relented slightly. "Actually, Smith's the one who should get it; he turned in John and me when we almost escaped."

            "Good point," Robinson concurred.

            "What?!" Smith was horrified.

            The two men laughed.

            "I'm too old for that sort of punishment," Smith protested with disdain. He should have known better than to say that.

            Predictably, West suggested, "Or maybe we should just settle for...." He demonstrated a fist. Robinson chuckled along with him.

            Smith gulped. "On second thought...! Perhaps age doesn't necessarily have to have anything to do with it."

            Maureen turned to Judy and said good-naturedly, "Well, at least we're safe."

            "Whew!" Judy agreed, smiling.

            Playfully, Don offered, "Don't count on it!"

            "Don!" Judy was nonplussed.

            A look passed between John and Maureen in which his eyes twinkled and his brows rose, and she blushed self-consciously. This mirrored the looks that Don and Judy were already exchanging.

            Uninvited, Smith intercepted those looks between the two couples, and he said, "Oh my!"

            John and Don glared at Smith for revealing their private hints to their ladies.

            Intimidated, Smith's eyes widened momentarily, but then he became surly. "So, no one's safe, except for you two," he said with a dour look at the two men, and commented, "Unfair."

            John said, "Well, Smith, during the work for those colonists, you pointed out that you should be spared because Don and I were so much stronger than you. So maybe now, you have to pay the price for that fact. And for that remark."

            Smith's timidity returned full force at that.

            The two men laughed together at Smith's expression.

            Don grinned. "I guess we have a brand spanking new way of teasing everyone."

            All groaned.